Illustration: Allie Carl/Axios

Chip Leighton and I have three things in common: We both love Maine (he lives there; I wish I did), both wrote books, and both love laughing at the dumb-ass things our kids say, Jim writes.We have one big difference: He makes enough money making fun of his kids to quit his corporate job — and do it professionally! Why it matters: Leighton is out today with a new book — “What time is noon?” — loaded with funny texts from kids.  A personal favorite: “How does eating cold turkey help you quit smoking?” The quick backstory: Leighton, working in corporate world marketing, was bored during COVID so he hopped on TikTok and started posting funny texts from his kids.He racked up a whopping 17 followers and was about to quit — until one of the texts went viral. Long story short, it turned him into a social media star. Today, he has 700,000 followers on Instagram and more than 600,000 on TikTok, a real business, paid speeches and a new book.  The book is a fun stocking stuffer loaded with things only a clueless teenager could type. Some classics: “Did Grandma have kids?”“Was my job at Taco Bell government or non-government?”“Can I leave a parking space before the meter runs out?”“Do I put the bear spray on before I start hiking or just if I see the bear?”“I tried this cologne I want for Christmas at the store. The brand is called tester.”“Is Carolina a swingers state?”Buy the book.

All mostly quiet on the virus front

By Tina Reed

Illustration: Aïda Amer/Axios

The U.S. may be heading into Thanksgiving with respiratory disease levels at lows not seen since before the pandemic, and with few immediate signs of another tripledemic.The big picture: Instead of seasonal flu, COVID-19 or RSV, the big public health concern at the moment is walking pneumonia — a bacterial infection of the lungs that’s hitting kids and adults at levels not seen in years.Driving the news: Since a summertime surge of COVID began receding in September, new cases, hospitalizations and deaths from respiratory viruses have been trending downward.It’s a departure from the past few years, when the start of autumn led health systems to begin mobilizing for an onslaught of cases and make contingencies.And it comes at a time of low vaccination rates.But experts warn it’s still possible we’ll get a new wave of illness when holiday gatherings and colder weather send more people indoors.The big picture: The latest wastewater surveillance reports from the CDC indicate transmission of COVID, influenza and RSV are low or minimal as of the first week of November.Rates of COVID and RSV were both on the rise the same week last year, while the flu began to jump toward the end of November.”From a respiratory virus standpoint, this is probably the lowest we’ve been in terms of risk in the community for any serious illnesses since the beginning of the pandemic,” said University of Minnesota epidemiologist Michael Osterholm.Between the lines: The story at children’s hospitals this fall has been the surge of an old bogeyman.Cases of walking pneumonia started rising in late spring across the U.S. and have remained high.Read more A nasal swab could determine COVID severityBy Maya Goldman Illustration: Maura Losch/Axios Detecting antibodies that attack one’s own cells with nasal swabs could be key to determining how bad a case of COVID one has.Why it matters: The findings from Emory University-led researchers run counter to earlier studies showing autoantibodies in the blood indicate a more serious infection.And determining the severity of a case soon after initial infection could help clinicians find the best course of treatment, said senior author Eliver Ghosn.What they found: The presence of autoantibodies in a COVID patient’s nose is connected with fewer symptoms and faster recovery, the researchers wrote in Science Translational Medicine.They tracked 125 COVID patients over two years.More than 70% of people with mild or moderate COVID-19 had the autoantibodies.State of play: Currently, providers can make educated guesses about how sick a patient might get from COVID based on comorbidities, including obesity and diabetes, and other factors.Ghosn and his lab created a new assay to test for nasal autoantibodies, which he hopes can eventually be turned into a predictive diagnostic test that patients get quickly after testing positive.Read moreSeattle biotech eyes gene therapy for hep BBy Christine Clarridge Tune Therapeutics is working on a gene therapy targeting the hepatitis B virus. Photo: Photo: BSIP/Universal Images Group via Getty Images A Seattle biotech is working on a gene therapy that could shut down hepatitis B, which has infected about 2 billion people worldwide and surged during the opioid crisis.Why it matters: Unlike current treatments which only slow HBV’s progression, Tune Therapeutics’ approach aims to eliminate the virus’ ability to replicate, potentially offering a cure for millions.Driving the news: Following promising preclinical trials, Tune expects to bring the drug, Tune-401, to clinical trials by the end of the year.How it works: Hepatitis B can persist in liver cells for years by embedding its genes into human chromosomes, creating free-floating loops of DNA that act as “viral factories,” Tune executive team members Blythe Sather and Heidi Zhang told Axios.The new drug uses lipid nanoparticles to deliver a molecule directly to liver cells, where it effectively turns off viral genes without damaging human DNA.Read more     Catch up quick  The Justice Department sued to block UnitedHealth Group-owned Optum’s proposed $3.3 billion acquisition of home health provider Amedisys, arguing the deal gives UNH too much power. (Axios) Online vape retailers are ignoring rules designed to keep young people from becoming addicted to tobacco, public health researchers found. (Los Angeles Times) Johnson & Johnson took HHS to court over its blocking the company’s plan to tighten the way it provides lucrative drug discounts to hospitals. (WSJ)